Today, I am 72 years old. I’m so grateful to be alive and in good health when so many folks I know are not blessed to be able to say the same. I’ve been having a great birthday until just a few minutes ago when I heard this news: In an Arizona Walmart, a young woman was followed into the female bathroom by two male security officers because a store employee thought the woman did not look “female enough.” This is true. You can look it up for yourself. There’s even a YouTube video (recorded by her ex-girlfriend) of the security officers talking to this woman.
This story broke my heart. Even 72 years of hardening didn’t prepare me for how I would feel about this. You see, this could have been me or any one of a multitude of “too male-looking” females.
I am 5’11’’ tall. (I used to be 6’ until intervertebral desiccation shrunk me by half an inch or so.) I have broad shoulders, long arms and legs, big hands and feet, and my voice moderates between alto and first baritone. I have a very square jaw (thanks, Dad!) and am not what you might traditionally call “pretty.” It’s okay – I don’t worry about that stuff anymore. But to think that transgender fear is so great out there that someone might call security on someone because they look “too male” or “too female” (it could happen to a guy, too, I imagine) just does me in today. I can only imagine the humiliation and denigration this woman felt.
Why can’t we stay out of each other’s hair? Why is it so important for us to try to fit every square peg into our own round hole? If there’s one thing I’ve learned at age 72, it’s that the more we try to connect with each other and understand each other, the more peace of mind we’ll have. And even if we can’t walk a mile in the other guy’s shoes, just leave each other the heck alone. Is that so hard? Really?
Well, happy birthday to me and all the other March 13 babies out there. At age 72, I still have my mind and an ability to call out injustices like this. We can never shrink away from our responsibility to each other as human beings. Peace, friends.